for a minute there this evening, as i was walking to my car, i felt like i’d forgotten last night. thank God for the invention of the camera, honestly. these days just seem to fly by, one by one by one. it’s crazy to think that this time two years ago, i was just finding myself slipping into a (at the time) brand new relationship & a little loopy, infatuated. last year.. i quite honestly can’t remember this exact day last year. all i know is that October 2013 wasn’t the best for me.
crazy though, isn’t it? how so much changes at a turn of a year.
our view at last night’s show was absolutely amazing!! all the memories of Cheer came rushing back as soon as we settled in & i couldn’t help but get goosebumps from imagining how awesome it must be like to perform onstage in a stadium. in fact, it has always been a dream of mine but i doubt that it’s something that would ever come true for me now. oh, well. maybe in another life.
i had almost forgotten that i had meant to dedicate tonight to updating this space. if i hadn’t remembered at the last minute, i would probably still be in the office right now. i don’t know why but i do seem to enjoy staying late these days. i suppose it has a lot to do with the fact that it gets so nice & quiet (when certain crazy colleagues aren’t wailing their lungs out to Mariah Carey or whatever random emotion-stricken Chinese love ballad). it felt like i had so much i’d wanted to put down in words— as i drove home, i didn’t stop making mental notes but now, sat here facing this big blank screen, everything seems to have evaporated. or rather, lost its importance. i suppose i’m really quite so fickle. one minute, something just seems so huge & significant. the next, i realise it’s but a speck in this vastness we call life. everything is so giant & so tiny all at once.
there are so many things i think i want to remember; absolutely must. in the same vein, really wouldn’t matter if i actually don’t & never do. of late, it seems to feel more (for me), like a push & pull. my thoughts/feelings are here one minute, there the next. (& everything changes in a blink.)